Ecclesiatical Endorsementations

First of all, I'd just like to give a shout out to this weekend being my one year anniversary of officially coming out. (Can I give a shout out to an abstract thing like that?)

Second, I set a record with 6 whole comments on my last post. I am saying it is caused by the profundity of Wit (W;t) and not my empty ramblings.

Third, I got ecclesiastically endorsed today, which was a bit of a relief. I honestly feel perfectly worthy of continuing my education here at BYU if I so choose and that I am a contributing member to the student body. My Church attendance, sadly, has been less than consistent this year though.

It was a good experience overall, though. After the normal talky-talkiness, the Bishop started asking me an augmented form of the temple recommend questions. Seeing as how honesty is one of my core values, I knew as I walked into his office that I would not be able to lie to him. In the past, the interviewer just goes down the list of questions and I would just answer "Yes." (Sometimes throwing in "I do" or "definitely" for varation) This time, if I felt I could answer the question with a "yes," I would do it, and then explain a little of the context around which my "yes" was based. However if I couldn't, for example, say: "Yes, I sustain Thomas S. Monson as the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator and as the only person on the earth who possesses and is authorized to exercise all priesthood keys," then I wouldn't (and didn't). I would explain why the issue at hand was a hard thing for me to accept.

The Bishop was good about it and still felt comfortable signing my endorsement with full knowledge of the reservations I have. I was slightly hesitant to sign my agency away to that document once again, but didn't really have any other option (besides, of course, packing my bags). I was sincere when I told him I didn't have any issues in my past that I felt I still needed to resolve with or confess to him.

I made my amish friendship bread today and it is delicious. The only big assignment I have on my plate for school this week is a 10 page research paper, which is manageable. It beckons me now.

Till next time...

death, thou shalt die

I saw a few clips of the film "Wit" several months ago, and have wanted to see it ever since. I just watched it, and it was amazing. I just might have to purchase it.

This segment is one of the clips I saw, and it directly led me to becoming an English major (which is going splendidly).

God in the Macaroni

Found this quote on another blog. I agree with it (largely).

“A person who goes in search of God is wasting his time. he can walk a thousand roads and join many religions and sects- but he’ll never find God that way. God is here, right now, at our side. In order to find God, you have to only to look around.”
(By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept)

Also, I just made macaroni and cheese with tuna for dinner. I added some tabasco sauce to give this orange death a little more flavor. Needless to say, I think I put a wee bit too much in! Whew!

Minty Glory

Can I just express my new-found but never-ending and undying love for mint.com?

It's rocking my world! And my wallet.

=)

How does time go so fast?! No idea.

The past few weeks have been really super amazing for me. Sublime too. I'm not ready to talk about any of this in such an open an public way, because a lot of it is rather....sacred...to me. It's not even that I have been doing cool things, for my life has been as mundane and school-work filled as ever (minus a few exciting trips to Salt Lake). Rather, I have been realizing a lot of different things about myself and my happiness. I have had mystical experiences and am learning so so much about who I am and what I believe in.

Long story short, and the point of this post, all of this has led me into this state of high happiness. I should have been having an emotional/nervous breakdown with how much I had to do for a while there, but I didn't. I was as filled with peace as I can ever remember being. In the Counseling Center here at BYU, every time you come in you fill out a little survey about how well you have been doing the past week, which is then translated into a number, with a score of 60-something or above being indicative of a significant amount of distress. When I first started coming in, my scores were in the 70's. Yesterday I was in the 30's.

Things are good. I am working on finding a place within myself from which I can base my happiness and peace in life on. I found, in a profound way, that place last week (and still). Life is still ordinary, and perhaps hard times are coming, but I can always know this place is within me and I can work on getting back there.

I have written about 20 pages this week in my life notebook about how I got to this place and what it feels like. I am hoping that when hard times come I can go back and read that notebook and be able to return.


I have so much more I could explicate on but feel I may have already said to much. I just thought I'd let everyone know that I am quite content and happy with life right now.

If you aren't happy, watch this video. I liked it at least

The Life Notebook

I haven't posted in a while. I've recently started carrying around a small notebook that I call my "life notebook." It is always in relatively close proximity to me. I use it to write down thoughts that I think are significant, or ideas I don't want to forget, or dates I need to remember, or use it to play hangman, or vent. Anything, really. That's why I'm calling it my life notebook. It just contains life. Sort of a deluxe journal.

That is the reason I havent been posting. Everything I used to use this blog as a forum to talk about is now just being written in there and I never get around to posting it on here. Sorry.


Also, I have three days straight from hell this week. Between 7am on Monday the 23rd and 9pm on Wednesday the 25th I have 5 exams. None of them are multiple choice either--all short answer/fill in the blank/essay, so I really have to know it. It also opens up doors for partial credit and BSing though, which multiple guess tests dont allow for. We'll see how it goes. I've been doing quite well thus far at mediating my stress levels and I have a biofeedback lab session tomorrow which should help.

Now, I must get back to studying my notecards... I have several hundred of them.

Bad PR

Ouch. Bad PR, Bad Bad PR.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-mormons-prop831-2009jan31,0,4854351.story